to the people in charge of illinois:
would it kill you to increase the speed limit on your interstates to 70 like the rest of the free world? also, i would appreciate it if, the next time i'm doing my best to get off your roads as quickly as possible, your state troopers could refrain from stopping me to ask for my autograph. i mean it's flattering and all but the time it eats up is almost impossible to get back. oh...and mow your fucking grass while you're at it.
i hate your miserable corn growing state,
chewy