on another note 

as anyone that uses blogger may have noticed, it's been anything but user friendly lately. this was posted to me via IM from my friend jonesey who's blog use to look like this but now looks like this.

jonesey: that's ok i didn't really want to post a blog that could be read...these blogger people may have to be included in the laying down of smack that has been reserved for aol and yahoo.

chewy: i don't know what the deal is. it worked fine for me yesterday. until last night...it's been blank ever since. maybe you should contact their tech support. they're borderline helpful.

jonesey: orrr....i could hunt down everyone that has anything to do with them and beat them to death with a feathered pillow then proceed to cut out their hearts with plastic sporks.

chewy: i suppose you could do that too

jonesey: i will contact their tech support when i've not had a terribly bad day at work that sours my mood and think that i could actually listen.

chewy: no. no. no. email them. they'll email you back. you don't have to actually talk to them. you know i don't support that kind of foolishness.

jonesey: well that sounds more tolerable. still going to put it off. the email today would read something like, "logged in to your damn site and all i got was this blank page. if i want to look at blank pages then i will just pull out the paper on my printer and say 'huh. thats nice, and more useful than blogger b/c in a real emergency at least i could wipe my ass with this' so do you think that you dumbass nitwits can do anything to help? sincerely someone who really can kill you."

chewy: lmao

jonesey: so i will be putting it off until the weekend i think.

chewy: i'm SO blogging this conversation...or at least parts of it.

jonesey: that's fine. it's always nice to be used by you.

i thought it be a nice change of pace for those of you that may be tired of the houseguest/psycho bitch saga.  ¶ 9:35 PM 0 comments |

  only in arkansas 

back before the houseguest reclaimed her holier than thou attitude, she managed to score herself a DUI. shockingly, she fell a bit behind on her scheduled payments and shortly after she started working at her last job the cops showed up to take her away. OH!!! if only they had!! but alas she had a get out of jail free card. she'd been to court the day before and had made arrangements for said card with the judge...the bastard. since then she's paid a grand total of $140 on her $700+ balance and that's including whatever she needed to pay to keep her arse out of jail per arrangements with the cloaked bastard.

for the past couple of weeks i've entertained myself with thoughts of taking her out for a long ride in the country much like the ones my grandfather use to take strays on. when i bore of that i think of more logical/realistic ways to rid myself of her. namely calling the sheriff's office and giving them her new address. she's been unemployed for well over a month. i know she hasn't made any payments on her fine recently b/c as mentioned several times before i'm her chauffeur. i was sure that sometime in the next week another warrant would be issued, i could make a call, and BAM!! problem solved. but like all things that sound too good to be true...so was that fantasy.

she (the houseguest or as i've been referring to her more recently...the psycho bitch) returned from a trip to town with her back-up chauffeur, otherwise known as my mother, gushing about how she'd landed a job. my first thought? "SHIT!! there goes any chance of her getting evicted for being a waste of space." she proceeds to tell me how she'll be working for the police department and that my friends is where the flags went up. cause i'm thinking, sure this is a backwoods kinda town but really...would they hire someone with an outstanding DUI fine to work for the police department? turns out they will...sort of. it's more of indentured servitude than an actual job. this "job" she came in gushing about isn't a paying gig. it's a you can do grunt work for us till your fine is paid off job. which means she won't be looking for another job. she'll still be a waste of space and she won't be going to jail. where does this leave me? back at the drawing board of course working on plan C.  ¶ 8:37 PM 0 comments |

  now i remember... 

...why i cancelled my subscription to "better living through chemistry." i have a weird chemical imbalance. seriously. it's not been documented nor does it make me a threat to society. however, i have to be careful which drugs i take. why? well b/c i have strange reactions. take nyquil for example. i can't take it. well i can. it won't kill me but i'd almost prefer it did. for me it's not "the nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, stuffy head, fever, so you can rest medicine." not in the least. it's the stay awake staring at the pretty colored dots on the wall why your skin crawls medicine. it's counterpart...dayquil...sends me in search of a soft, warm spot for hibernation. i took a popular diet pill back in the late 90's. i did not have an extra micron of energy. i did not loose so much as one microgram of fat. what i did get was a raging case of the grumpies. i'm not talking cute guys in the balcony of the muppets grumpy. i'm talking walking bitchosaurus. so what i was thinking yesterday when i decided to self-medicate, i have no idea. i popped one of my mom's lexapro tabs in the hope that it would keep me from having a complete and utter meltdown on the houseguest. it didn't have the desired effect. instead, i felt agitated, nervous, and hostile. oh, and my brain to mouth filter was functioning at a lower purification rate. my brother reminded me that when dealing with anti-depressants that it takes a while for the desired effect to become apparent. so i'm at a cross road. do i continue to take the lexapro in the hope that it'll eventually turn me into a mellow ball of mush? or do i toss it back to my mom and take my chances with my own coping mechanisms? i'm leaning more towards the latter. mostly b/c at least then i have control over my filter.  ¶ 12:35 PM 0 comments |