smoke and mirrors 

it never ceases to amaze me when corporations assume one employee will behave like the other lemmings in their flock. i can't tell you the number of managers i've left with mouths agape. it's been so often that watching them flounder while trying to formulate a workable "plan B" has lost it's entertainment value.

i don't set out for things to end like this. i just expect certain things. for instance if i give your crummy low paying job 120% for 14+ months without asking for so much as a vacation, i expect when i do ask you to...say...rework my schedule so that it'll benefit both the institution and my 14hr school schedule that you'll at least attempt to comply. i don't consider that to be an unreasonable request and i'll even allow a certain amount of time to pass (we're talking months not weeks) before i casually drop off my two weeks notice and clean out my locker. can we discuss it? sure...but not really. you'll pay me more money you say? you should have been doing that anyway. you'll see what you can do about my schedule? i don't believe you. i'll send you a postcard from my next destination.

what brings all this up today? well, it's happened again. i've spent the last 13 weeks contracted to a certain healthcare institution(CHI). it wasn't a typical contract...it was more of a 13 week test drive. if at the end of that 13 weeks the CHI and i agreed that being permanent staff would benefit both of us then i'd stay. otherwise i'd be free to roam about the city. approximately 6 weeks ago i decided that depending on the rate of pay i could work at CHI and not lose what's left of my sanity. the powers that be in my designated department of CHI had long since implemented what i laughingly called the "convince chewy to stay policy." so there's no problem, right? heh. of course there was. it's called human resources. 5-7 phone calls complete with voicemail messages got me 1 all but useless return call 2 weeks before the end of my contracted test drive.

just by chance on that very same day of said useless H/R phone call, i also got a call from another agency asking if i happened to be looking for a job. two weeks left of guaranteed work and virtually no progress on the H/R front in 4 weeks...hmmm...well yes i just might be looking for a job. trauma hospital? really. that much an hour. hmm...i'm not crazy about the schedule but if they'd be flexible enough to consider 3 12hr shifts instead of 5 8hr ones, i'd be VERY interested. sure i'll stop by this week and fill out the required paperwork.

flash forward to the following monday...for those that have a slight math deficiency, that would be 1 week left on contracted test drive. i reluctantly call into work b/c the aunt (also aiden's afternoon caregiver) is viciously ill. realizing i suddenly have the rest of my day free i also put in yet another call to H/R. least i can wait around for a call i know won't be getting. i wasn't disappointed. they didn't call.

tuesday 9am the phone rings. human resources? heh...don't be silly. it was the alternate agency reporting that trauma hospital was indeed very interested in me even with my demanding a different schedule than they'd originally offered. i could expect a call from them the next day for a phone interview.

wenesday roughly 2:30pm i place a call to the alternate agency in an attempt to reschedule the phone interview as i'll be at CHI in less than 15 minutes and cellular service is sketchy there at best. surprisingly enough instead of rescheduling i'm given the direct line to the interviewer and unlike CHI's H/R department the interviewer ACTUALLY answers her phone. holy crap. i didn't realize people still did that. 5 minutes later the details are ironed out. trauma hospital's happy. chewy's happy. everyone's happy. almost.

thursday 11 something am the home phone rings, an oddity in itself, and it's for me? that NEVER happens. H/R? heh...close but not quite. the slightly unnerved voice verging on panic belonged not to the mystery woman at H/R but to my boss, for lack of a better word, at CHI. heard some disturbing news? i accepted a job at another facility...yep. that's accurate enough. what's there not to understand? i've got 3 days left on my contract. i've made no progress with your H/R department. trauma hospital offered me a job and i took it. oh i see. i should have told you i was having H/R issues...more than the one time i did. i see. so it's only an issue for you to be concerned about if i complain about it more than once? will i cancel my contract? we'll discuss that when i get to work today.

this is where things got a bit funny. i walk into work. the boss all but pounces on me. hands me a post it note with a figure written on it. i chock back the laughter and write a number on the same sheet. the number trauma hospital gave me. can you say $6 difference? i can. there wasn't alot to be said after that. well there was a futile argument about the trauma hospital number not including benefits...which it does.

i wonder if i shouldn't have gone to work at walmart when i had the chance.

check in tomorrow for more details on the stalking mullet.  ¶ 8:34 AM 0 comments |