only in arkansas 

back before the houseguest reclaimed her holier than thou attitude, she managed to score herself a DUI. shockingly, she fell a bit behind on her scheduled payments and shortly after she started working at her last job the cops showed up to take her away. OH!!! if only they had!! but alas she had a get out of jail free card. she'd been to court the day before and had made arrangements for said card with the judge...the bastard. since then she's paid a grand total of $140 on her $700+ balance and that's including whatever she needed to pay to keep her arse out of jail per arrangements with the cloaked bastard.

for the past couple of weeks i've entertained myself with thoughts of taking her out for a long ride in the country much like the ones my grandfather use to take strays on. when i bore of that i think of more logical/realistic ways to rid myself of her. namely calling the sheriff's office and giving them her new address. she's been unemployed for well over a month. i know she hasn't made any payments on her fine recently b/c as mentioned several times before i'm her chauffeur. i was sure that sometime in the next week another warrant would be issued, i could make a call, and BAM!! problem solved. but like all things that sound too good to be true...so was that fantasy.

she (the houseguest or as i've been referring to her more recently...the psycho bitch) returned from a trip to town with her back-up chauffeur, otherwise known as my mother, gushing about how she'd landed a job. my first thought? "SHIT!! there goes any chance of her getting evicted for being a waste of space." she proceeds to tell me how she'll be working for the police department and that my friends is where the flags went up. cause i'm thinking, sure this is a backwoods kinda town but really...would they hire someone with an outstanding DUI fine to work for the police department? turns out they will...sort of. it's more of indentured servitude than an actual job. this "job" she came in gushing about isn't a paying gig. it's a you can do grunt work for us till your fine is paid off job. which means she won't be looking for another job. she'll still be a waste of space and she won't be going to jail. where does this leave me? back at the drawing board of course working on plan C.  ¶ 8:37 PM |